“There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
People will do anything,no matter how absurd,
to avoid facing their own soul.
One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,
but by making the darkness conscious.”
There are riches to be found in pain. Only when something is deeply broken can it be refashioned. And the result is always better.
Some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met are the ones that hurt the most.
When I was 17, bankruptcy broke my Dad and took his life. He had once been wealthy, but he died without a penny to his name. No house, no bank account and no pension for Mom. All we had were the clothes on our backs.
His death broke my heart. He was my hero.
I gave up my dreams of University to help support our family.
Mom began working as a maid, cleaning other people’s houses, washing their clothes and raising their kids.
We were taken in by a relative, but he treated us terribly.
Mom was diagnosed with Cancer.
Despair and broken dreams have a way of singing angry songs. I discovered Cannabis* and began using it to numb the pain. As a crutch.
I stopped praying.
Some years later, we were finally able to leave our relative’s house. Things were moving forward. But when I turned 30, I lost my job, lost my new home and once again we were left homeless.
I also came across a family secret that shook the ground beneath me.
In the midst of all this tearing down, I discovered Grace as I had never known it. I experienced God’s provision and his soft tug on my sleeve.
I even got to baptize a girl.
“Late Train to Galilee” is a chronicle of how I dived, head-first into Grace. It’s the story of how pain can be redemptive when we search for its meaning. It’s the story of God dwelling amidst the wreckage.
It’s an account of miracles, for there were a couple that took my breath away.
It’s also the story of my shift from Legalism to freedom. A personal quest for spirituality, for God, for beauty in the most unexpected places.
The book is a work in progress, but with some help from above, it will be ready during the second semester of 2014.
“I cannot wait to read the whole book. Beautiful, beautiful writing.” – Jeremy Lucas, Vicar at The Episcopal Diocese of Olympia.
*While I stopped smoking Cannabis more than ten years ago, I still believe it should be legalized.